Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
