how do flat chested girls get laid?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
