She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
