Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
