For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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