God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
