Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
pray to the hookup gods
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