Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't turn off my feet"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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