thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
