Got a toothbrush?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I love you. Go after that dick
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
