is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
