You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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