dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
