my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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