She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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