My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
