Moan for me like Helen Keller
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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