like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
