First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
