I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
