i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
