i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
