you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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