What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had to cum in my sink.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
