Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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