What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The air was thick with penises
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
