hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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