That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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