I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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