i just google imaged poop.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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