My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
