My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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