I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
