There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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