the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are the jesus of drinking
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
