Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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