Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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