we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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