I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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