so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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