hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
