My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
