my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
