is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
