i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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