Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
