good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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