i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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