While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
