The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
