I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
