I think my vagina is haunted
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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