what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
